Friday, April 27, 2007
Candice and I ditched dance class and watched the new Jim Carrey movie. It was advertised as a thriller - but, disappointingly, thrilling, it ain't!
The basic premise is that Walter Sparrow (Jim Carrey) is a dog catcher who stumbles upon a book called "The Number 23", which is about the strange phenomena and paranoia surrounding the number 23. The book has many strange events and co-incidences mirroring Walter's life, such as the letters in his name adding up to 23. Ooooh, spooky!
Once Walter starts reading the book, strange things begin to happen - like dreaming of killing his wife - but Walter is obsessed and can't stop. Finding the number 23 in everything around you isn't hard if you're looking for it, so I wasn't that impressed by all the 23s in Walter's life. They even managed to sully my favourite colour by announcing that somehow pink = 23 as well. Whatever!
When one of the characters says "2 divided by 3 is .666 - the devil's number" it made me role my eyes. It's actually .6 repeated, but let's not let facts get in the way of telling a really bad story.
The film's redeeming features include the style (very film noir), the awesome cakes that Walter's wife makes (like one made into a dalmatian puppy) and Jim Carrey's hair. Very mid-life rock star. Very hip for a dog catcher.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Sunshine was written by Alex Garland (The Beach) and directed by Danny Boyle (28 Days Later... and Trainspotting) - and stars Rose Byrne, Cillian Murphy and Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger and Memoirs of a Geisha).
The basic storyline is that 50 years in the future, the sun is dying and humankind's last hope is to send a team of astronauts aboard the Icarus 2 to the sun carrying a huge bomb to re-ignite the sun. The fact that the first group sent on the mission (Icarus 1) never came home should have been a huge warning sign that the plan was not magnificent.
The movie reminded me of Alien - minus the aliens. Sometimes human behaviour can be scarier than the supernatural.
Teenage girls (make that girls in general) can be so nasty. Is there anything more traumatic than being a teenage girl who doesn't fit in? And when is the need to feel like part of a group stronger than in high school?
This movie is based upon the book "Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence" by Rosalind Wiseman.
We all have Queen Bees in our lives - the girls who controlled who was popular and what trends were cool at school became the women in the work place who get the fast promotions and offices with the best views. And no matter how much we hate and despise them, we still want them to like us.
Quotes from Mean Girls (Regina is the Queen Bee. Cady is played by Lindsay Lohan):
Regina: But you're, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Regina: You think you're really pretty?
Cady: Oh... I don't know
Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica Lopez: - And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Gretchen: [in her English class essay, after being humiliated by Regina] Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We should totally just *stab* Caesar!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
I saw the newest dancing movie today with Lach, Lynette, Dan, Sue and Mylinda. The only preview was for The Simpson's Movie - I guess advertisers are yet to harness the power of dance audiences. Yay!
The storyline was pretty formulaic (bad boy joins new school, falls for cute girl, gets kicked out of school then reinstated and happy ending ensues), but the dancing was awesome. As noted by Dan, several of the crumpers from Rize feature in the opening scene - even though the movie is technically meant to be about a style of dance battling called "stepping" there was definitely some crumping and hip-hop featuring strongly.
I learned some new moves today - the python hiss, the wolves under-the-chin arm-rest and the elbow slide (pictured), which seems to be like spirit fingers in that it has the power to win all competitions when pulled off at the pertinent moment. Must remember this move for my next urban dance match.
We followed the film with a dance class of our own - it didn't quite match the testosterone level of the movie (semi-naked raging black men - bring it on!) but it made me feel better about the friand I ate for lunch.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
"I'm sexy, I'm cute, I'm popular to boot
I'm bitchin', great hair, the boys all love to stare.
I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not
I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate the school.
Who am I? Just guess!
Guys wanna touch my chest
I'm rockin', great smile, and many think I'm vile.
I yell and I jump you can look but don't you hump, whoo!
I'm major, I roar, I swear I'm not a whore!
We cheer and we lead and we act like we're on speed
Well, we don't like you either!
We're cheerleaders, we are cheerleaders"
The is one of the few movies I can stomach Kirsten Dunst in. And that's only because Eliza Dushku also stars in this flick.
Cheerleaders get a bad rap as being airheads - this movie shows them as the bitchy, sassy athletes that they really are. I would like to give thanks to Bring It On for the following:
Spirit Fingers - a pivotal dance move that can be used in all genres of dancing in a pinch.
And key phrases such as:
Sparky: When you skip a meal, your body feeds off its fat stores. And if you skip enough, maybe your body will eat your ass!
Torrance Shipman: My entire cheerleading career has been a lie.
Kasey: Courtney'll get captain. The guys like touching her butt.
Darcy: Yeah, she's got a lot to hang on to. What's the plural for 'butt'? On one person, I mean.
Jenelope: Can we just beat these Buffys down so I can go home? I'm on curfew girl.
Courtney: You were having cheer-sex with him!
Courtney: Where the hell are my spanky pants?
Darcy: Bring on the tyros, the neophytes, and the dilettantes.
Jan: Do I look like a milkmaid 'cause somebody feels like a cow.
Little Known Fact:
Missy Pantone's (Eliza Dusku's) tumbling pass during the audition sequence is the only stunt that the actors did not perform themselves.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Truest statement ever. This post is dedicated to Alec.
Here are my Top Dancing Movies in no particular order
Girls Just Want To Have Fun
Sarah Jessica Parker before she got all skinny. It also features Shannon Doherty with braces and Helen Hunt throwing out her best Cyndi Lauper dance moves and fashion statements including the cricket hat in the picture. Such style!
SJP also features in this gem. Kevin Bacon sure has his groove on as Ren, the new city kid who ends up in Hicksville. A tractor race proves his worth, and he boogies on down with the local rednecks.
This classic spawned some awesome songs, dance moves and fashion trends. I love it cos it's a bit gritty, pretty nasty in places and very real. I mean, people really do start singing and dancing on cars in the middle of NYC streets, right?
When I was young I thought this movie was about something nasty. It was a happy surprise to discover that as well as having great dance scenes and introducing a new, "dirty" kind of ballroom dancing, it was also the birthplace of awesome quotes like "Nobody puts baby in a corner". Damn straight! Patrick Swayze trained as a ballet dancer during his youth - this movie made him a poster child for why men should take ballet lessons. Note to the guys - if you're an awesome dancer, you can be an ugly dog and still get the girls. Patrick Swayze can dirty dance with me any day ...
Paul Mecurio was also a ballet dancer before performing in this parody of ballroom dancing competitions. Big hair, fake tan and sequins abound. The story goes like this: a ballroom dancer wants to dance his own steps. In the world of professional ballroom, this is a sign that the dancer is off their rocker. Boy dancer meets girl wannabe-dancer, who teaches boy dancer to dance with his heart and use his own steps. Awwwww. Best movie quotes: "A bit of musicality, please!" and "A life lived in fear is a life half-lived". Damn tootin'.
Great choreography, terrible acting. I love the dance sequences to Michael Jackson and Jamiroquai - I don't love the cheesy lines like "You're a great choreographer - but as a boyfriend, you kinda suck".
Save The Last Dance
Julia Stiles does her best, but she's just a great dancer. Or a dancer at all really. The dancing may be average, but the acting and story make up for it.
This documentary was created by photographer David LaChapelle and follows the story of clowning and crumping in the ghettos of LA. The dancing is fierce and fast - real people, real stories, real hard-core dancing.
Made in the fashion of a documentary and containing no actual storyline, this is an odd one. There is no lead actor, but Neve Campbell features in the ensemble - turns out she trained as a ballet dancer in Canada. Pity they didn't use her for Save The Last Dance ... The dancing in this is pure ballet and totally beautiful.
Mad Hot Ballroom
A doco following the story of children in NYC taking part in a ballroom dancing competition. The kids adorable to watch - they try so hard and it's heartbreaking when the underdogs don't win the comp (oops! Spoiler!).
Take The Lead
Based on the story of the man who started the ballroom dancing program in schools in NY. Antonio Banderas is a fine Latin man - can all Latin men dance like this? There are some great scenes blending hip hop and ballroom. Super-sexy.
A teenage romance story that's been told before but with some fabulous dance sequences combining modern-contemporary dance with hip-hop. I do love angsty hip hop dancers.
Snaps to Jessica Alba for her dance moves - no body-double needed here. It's cheesy as hell but worth it for the dance sequences - and perving on Jessica Alba for those who are so inclined. I hear she's kinda hot? ...
Penguins singing and tap dancing. If only all animals were so multi-talented. The dancers who "tapped" for the penguins are all Aussies. Snaps for the Aussies!
Bring It On
Technically not a dance movie, Sparky Polastri does say "Cheerleaders are dancers gone retarded", so I guess it qualifies. A fabulous parody of cheerleading, with some amazing acrobatics and dance scenes. The expressions on their faces are truly frightening - ecstatic and totally devoid of thoughts of anything other than cheerleading. I give thanks to this movie for Spirit Fingers - a dance move that will never go out of style.
A little boy in a mining town in England wants to be a ballet dancer. You can imagine the small-mindedness that ensues.
Saturday Night Fever
Disco dancing + chest hair + Bee Gees music = a classic.
Shall We Dance
J.Lo and Richard Gere star in this sweet story of a middle-aged guy who has a bit of a mid-life crisis and decides to take ballroom dancing lessons.
Another awesome Aussie dance movie starring Adam Garcia. The movie is loosely based on (director) Dein Perry's story as a tap dancer growing up in Newcastle. The only modern tap dancing movie that I know of, it makes dancing look all manly and sexy. Hence why all movies should have dance in them.
Worst Dance Movie Of All Time
... thus proving that not all dancing movies automatically rock.
Jennifer Beals can't dance for a start. All of the dance sequences use a body double. There are also a lot of weird scenes with cars and metal grinding. Why? And why is this movie a classic? Some mysteries will never be explained.
Monday, April 16, 2007
"If the apocalypse comes, beep me."
I named my dog Buffy. You don't get more dedicated than that.
Here is some little-known trivia about Buffy.
- Sarah Michelle Gellar initially auditioned for the role of Cordelia Chase, and Charisma Carpenter, who plays Cordelia, auditioned for the role of Buffy.
- Nathan Fillion (Caleb) originally auditioned for the role of Angel when the show was first being cast in late 1996. He later stars in Firefly and Serenity.
- Seth Green played Oz, the werewolf boyfriend of Alyson Hannigan. He also played her boyfriend in My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988).
- Seth Green is the only cast member to have acted in both the TV series and the 1992 movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992). (Green was cut from the feature film, but still appeared on the videotape box.)
- Joss Whedon supplies the voice of the Mutant Enemy mascot which says "Grrr ... Arrgh" heard at the end of almost every episode.
- Series Creator Joss Whedon has said that the idea for Buffy came from all the horror movies he had seen featuring a helpless young blonde who would almost always be the first to die. He felt she needed a better image.
- "Mutant Enemy", Joss Whedon's production company, was the name he gave to his first typewriter when he was 15. The logo was created in 20 minutes when he was told he had to have one.
- The entire first season was filmed before the first episode went to air, giving them the opportunity to go back and re-shoot various scenes. The scene in the library where Buffy states "it's my first day..." was actually filmed on the last day of shooting after they decided her original performance was too forceful and aggressive. Another scene added to the pilot (to fill in time as it was shorter than expected) was the infamous "you have something in your eye" scene where The Master blinds a vampire who had failed him.
- The first Sunnydale High School set is the same set used in Beverly Hills 90210 as West Beverly Hills High.
- Joss Whedon gave the character Riley the last name "Finn" after hearing executive producer Marti Noxon talking about taking her dog, Finn, to the vet.
- In the episode "Dark Ages" Giles states, "And the rest is silence." This seems to be a reference to the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as it was the last words Merrick, Buffy's first watcher, left with Buffy. The phrase in the movie would later become relevant to Buffy in her defeating Lothos.
- Kali Rocha, who showed up in the sixth season as vengeance demon Halfreck, first appeared in a flashback episode in the fifth season as Cecily, the woman who spurned William, causing him to become the vampire known as Spike. Having already cast Rocha as Halfreck, the writers knew the loyal fans would immediately recognize her, so as an inside joke between them, when Halfreck first saw Spike, she said, "William?"
- The character of Dawn was originally intended to have the power to speak to the dead. She was also supposed to be able to move objects with her mind. These powers were later dropped.
- The series is based not on the feature film Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992), but Joss Whedon's original screenplay, which had been heavily rewritten to be more comedic. The Buffy comic book series adapted the screenplay, bringing the events of the movie in line with the TV show's continuity.
- Before he was turned into a vampire, Spike's name was William. Angel's real name was Liam, which is the Irish version of the English/British William.
- After the series ended, Eliza Dushku was offered her own spin-off series as the character Faith. But then she turned it down to do "Tru Calling" (2003). Big mistake!
- Buffy's birthday was celebrated in the episode first aired on or near 19 January each year. In the first-year episode "I Robot, You Jane", Malcolm brings up Buffy's school records on his computer. In the first view, we see that Buffy was born on 24 October 1980, and that she is a sophomore. The second time we see Buffy's records, her birthday is 6 May 1979, and she is a senior. Joss Whedon finally decreed Buffy's birthday to be 19 January 1981.
- In the Sunnydale cemetery, there is a frequently seen mausoleum with the family name Alpert. Alpert is the last name of one of the show's producers, Marc D. Alpert.
- The character of Angel was supposed to stay dead after the season finale of the second season, but the WB network came to Whedon with the desire for a spin off series, so Angel was brought back during the third season to set up his spin-off series.
- Anthony Head tutored James Marsters in his London accent for Spike. In reality, Head's accent is more like Spike's than the clipped English tones that he sports in the show.
- James Marsters originally auditioned for Spike with a Texan accent. This was quickly jettisoned in favor of a London accent instead.
- Spike's trademark coat cost $2000 from a top fashion store. It was then run over repeatedly by a truck to give it that distressed look.
- Oz was originally supposed to wear thick rimmed glasses, much like the lead singer of Weezer. This was dropped at the last minute as Joss Whedon felt that it looked tacky.
- The headstones in Sunnydale Cemetery are actually made out of Styrofoam.
- There are 43 churches in the town of Sunnydale (something to do with it being located on the Hellmouth).
- Series creator Joss Whedon wanted to do a musical episode as early as the first season, but the network wouldn't allow him to. When the show switched networks after the fifth season, he was finally able to get his wish, resulting in the episode "Once More, With Feeling".
- The characters of Spike, Oz, Faith, Wesley and Drusilla were all supposed to be killed off, but have ended up living long past their initial storylines. Also, the characters of Jenny and Joyce were supposed to be killed off sooner than they were.
- Joss Whedon is known to plan his season storylines years in advance. Clues to Dawn's arrival can be found as early as the third season, but she doesn't actually show up until the fifth.
- There have been several lines throughout the series have referred to Tuesday ('There's a demon trying to destroy the world and it's just another Tuesday night in Sunnydale' in Revelations and 'Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday' in Once More With Feeling). These are references to the fact that, in the USA, Buffy is aired on a Tuesday.
- Many elements of Xander's dream in 'Restless', season 4, were seen again in the season 6 episode 'Tabula Rasa'. In the dream, Spike wears a tweed suit and tells Xander he's in training to be a Watcher (Giles adds "Spike's like a son to me."), also mentioning 'A shark, but on land. A land shark'. In 'Tabula Rasa' Spike is under threat from a loan shark (literally a shark), disguises himself in a tweed suit and after a spell gone wrong believes he might be Giles' son.
- In the episode 'Tabula Rasa', Buffy says to Spike 'A vampire with a soul? That's so lame', a dig at spin-off show 'Angel'.
- When Cordelia see one of the girls trying out for the cheerleading squad, she makes the comment "Who does she think she is, a Laker Girl?", Charisma Carpenter was a Laker Girl in real life.
- Joss Whedon is known for giving hints for future events. In Graduation Day Part 2 while Buffy is in a coma dream she speaks to Faith. Faith says "Oh yeah. - Miles to go - Little Ms. Muffet counting down from 7-3-0." 730 means 730 days (2 years). If you recall the poem that states miles to go before I sleep. In 730 days Buffy will die in the finale of season 5.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Based on Shakespeare's Taming Of The Shrew, this is my fave Heath Ledger movie - pre-receding hairline and throwing things at photographers.
So witty and fun - I think I'll watch it again tonight! Why aren't all teen movies this awesome?
Walter Stratford: My insurance does not cover PMS!
Kat Stratford: Tell them I had a seizure.
Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anybody cry today?
Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.
Michael: Sweet love, renew thy force.
[Start of Shakespeare's Sonnet LVI]
Patrick: Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.
Chastity: I know you can be under whelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed?
Bianca: I think you can in Europe.
Bianca: Are you asking me out? That's so cute. What's your name again?
Walter Stratford: I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My mama didn't raise no foo'!
Bianca: You don't buy black underwear unless you want somebody to see it.
Kat Stratford: You're not as vile as I thought you were.
Patrick: What is it with this chick? She got beer-flavored nipples?
Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. I mean I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Chastity: But I love my Skechers.
Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.
Kat Stratford: Remove head from sphincter, then drive!
Kat Stratford: I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
Cameron: I learned French for you!
Walter Stratford: Where is she going?
Kat Stratford: She's meeting some bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm.
Walter Stratford: Funny.
Walter Stratford: [Bianca and Chastity are sneaking past Bianca's father] Shoulda used the window.
Bianca: Hi Daddy.
Walter Stratford: Hi... where're we going?
Bianca: Well, if you must know... a small study group with friends.
Walter Stratford: Otherwise known as an orgy?
Chastity: Mr. Stratford, it's just a party.
Walter Stratford: And hell is just a sauna.
Patrick: Someone still has her panties in a twist.
Kat Stratford: Don't think for one minute that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.
Patrick: Well then, what did I have an effect on?
Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.
Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat...
Kat Stratford: Tempestuous?
Ms. Perky: "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.
Kat Stratford: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.
Bianca: Where do you come from? Planet "Loser"?
Kat Stratford: What, as opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"?
Walter Stratford: I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl today, and you know what she said to me?
Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my sleazy boyfriend wear a condom"?
Walter Stratford: Close, she said "I should have listened to my father."
Bianca: She did not.
Walter Stratford: Well, that's what should would have said if she wasn't so doped up.
Patrick: Not a big talker, are you?
Kat Stratford: Depends on the subject. My fenders don't exactly whip me into a verbal frenzy.
Patrick: It's not everyday you find a girl who'll flash someone to get you out of detention.
Patrick: Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?
Ms. Perky: So, I hear you've been terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.
Joey: Mr. Morgan, do you think you could get Kat to take her Midol before she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.
[Michael and Cameron enter the bar looking for Patrick]
Cameron: Wow, is this what a bar looks like?
[Cameron reaches into a jar on the bar]
Michael: *Don't* touch anything! You may get hepatitis.
[the boys find Patrick who is drinking and smoking]
Cameron: And, umm, here's another problem. Bianca said that Kat likes... pretty guys.
Patrick: [slowly rises, confused] Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?
Cameron: H... he's very pretty. He's a gorgeous guy.
[Give's Patrick two thumbs up]
Cameron: Gorgeous guy.
Michael: Yeah... I... I... just wasn't sure.
[They nervously smile and Pat slowly sits down again]
Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual.
Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights?
Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?
Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst.
Ms. Perky: Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist? Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!
Mr. Morgan: I know how difficult it must be to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better... lunch meat, or whatever you white girls complain about, ask them WHY they can't buy a book written by a black man!
White Rastas: That's right mon!
Mr. Morgan: Don't even get me started on you two!
White Rastas: No problem mon!
Joey: [holding up headshots] Which one do you like better?
Bianca: Hmm, I think I like the white shirt better.
Joey: Yeah, it's more...
Joey: Damn, I was going for thoughtful.
Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member.
Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that.
Bianca: But she is a mutant! What if she never dates?
Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
Kat Stratford: What is it, Asshole Day?
[talking about the prom]
Kat Stratford: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antiquated mating-ritual? Mandella: Um, I would, but I don't have a date.
Kat Stratford: Do you really want to get all dressed up, so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that, by definition, blows?
Kat Stratford: You're looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective. We're making a statement.
Mandella: Oh goody, something new and different for us!
Patrick: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked.
Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I *want* you, I *need* you, oh baby, oh baby.
Michael: Okay I talked to her, I got the scoop.
Cameron: What'd she say?
Michael: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote.
Patrick: Thanks Michael. That's very comforting of you.
Patrick: Hey there girly... how you doin'?
Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself?
Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guys attention huh?
Kat Stratford: My mission in life but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked... the world makes sense again.
Kat Stratford: I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.
Walter Stratford: And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.
Kat Stratford: You're amazingly self-assured, did anyone ever tell you that?
Patrick: I tell myself that every day, actually.
Patrick: I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window. So, how did you keep him distracted?
Kat Stratford: Oh, I dazzled him with my... wits.
Cameron: We're screwed.
Michael: Now, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude... I want to hear you UPBEAT!
Cameron: [more upbeat] We're screwed!
Michael: There ya go.
Patrick: [while trying to get Kat go out with him] I'll take you places you've never been before.
Kat Stratford: Like where, the 7-11 on Broadway?
Kat Stratford: [talking to Mr. Chapin in detention] Well, now that you've seen "the plan", I'm gonna go and show "the plan" to someone else.
Kat Stratford: We're going now.
Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, NO ritual animal slaughters of any kind... oh God, I'm giving them ideas.
"You're my seeing-eye gay".
Man I love this show. Ugly Betty - witty, sharp, hyper-real.
Sometimes this show cuts a little too close for comfort. I'm also not trendy, cool, thin or perfect - I could be Betty! Wait a minute ... I WAS Betty a few years ago! Without the huge eyebrows and braces ... scary!
Fashion is only a career for the strong - how do girls who don't eat get so friggin' strong anyway? You try wrestling Dior make-up off a fashion magazine trendoid at a beauty giveaway. You're not going to win, let me tell you that. I believe that those size-six limbs are actually made of titanium. How else to these girls manage to wear high heels day in and out without their tendons shrinking and blisters popping up all over their feet? I wonder if that counts as a super power ...
One of the best things about this show is the witty dialog between the bitchy assistants. If only their real-life counterparts were as smart, they wouldn't end up spending the majority of their careers as an editorial co-ordinator fetching their editor's dry cleaning and coffee. That wasn't pointed at all, was it?
Why Heroes is one of the best shows on TV right now:
- It questions what it means to be a hero. These heroes are on drugs, are deceitful, vulnerable, troubled and have the worst relationships with people in their lives, yet they're still trying to save the world. Nice to know you can be a hero without being perfect.
- It has a lot of similarities to comic books with its style and subject matter, such as X-Men - but BETTER!
- Cheerleaders are not often portreyed as heroes. Most often they're shown as skanks. I agree, let's save the cheerleaders! More pom-poms = more happy football watchers = less riots at games = world peace. Hmmm. I think I'm on to something here. The producers are SMART!
- One of the main characters is called Hiro. Hiro is a hero. Easy to remember.
- The cheerleader is indestructible. This would be a valuable super-power for any cheerleader who has been harassed on a football field.
- Unlike other series (namely Lost) it actually seems to be going somewhere. No frigging conspiracy theories here. Give me straight up drama and awesome script-writing every time. Will Peter Petrelli learn to control his powers? Will Hiro stop the bomb that blows up NYC? The suspense is killing me.
Thursday, April 5, 2007
The best teen movie ever. Based on Jane Austin's Emma. Quotes that altered my teenage years:
Cher: "He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?"
Cher: "Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex."
Josh: "We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree."
Cher: "Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees."
Cher: "That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential."
Cher: "Been shopping with Dr. Suess?"
Dionne: "Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack."
Murray: "Turn with your head, not the whole car!"
Cher: "Would you call me selfish?"
Dionne: "Not to your face."
Cher: "I want to do something for humanity."
Josh: "How about sterilisation?"
Cher: "Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensembly challenged"?"
Josh: "Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road."
Cher: "I am. You try driving in platforms."
Cher: "I felt impotent and out of control. Which I really, really hate. I had to find sanctuary in a place where I could gather my thoughts and regain my strength... " [we see a wide shot of the mall]
Cher: "I have direction!"
Josh: "Yeah, towards the mall."
And finally ...
Cher: "As if."
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Small country towns are always full of weirdos. If you find yourself in said situation, be mindful of the following:
- The escaped swan will get the bad guy in the end if you don't get him first.
- Model villages with church spires are a lawsuit waiting to happen - but are also useful for impaling bad guys on.
- The supermarket can be a war zone. Deal with employees throwing knives at you by creating a battering ram out of trolleys.
- Putting on aviator sunglasses will lower your voice, change its tonal qualities and make you sound all bad-ass - save this for the worst case scenarios as once you lay the smack down on their country hick-asses, grannys with machine guns will come out of the woodwork.
- If someone is stabbed in the throat with their own garden shears, it's most likely NOT an accident.
- There is always time to go to the pub for a pint or local store for a Cornetto, even if you're an on-duty police officer. In fact, it's probably a good idea as there's nothing else to do other than sit at home and water your peace lily.
- Men in black robes meeting in the moonlight will always be up to no good. Beware of their scythes - they're extra pointy.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
2. It pays to keep in close contact with friends from high school who want to be actors. If they hit the big time, you can become their manager and mooch off them for life.
3. Every posse has a weird little guy who is the but of everyone's jokes, like Chunk in The Goonies. Find one for your posse before you become the oddball sidekick who never gets laid.
4. If you're offered a lead in a film described as "Die Hard at Disneyland", ask yourself what's more important - your dignity or $4 million. Easy decision, eh?
5. Leasing a $350,000 car is a financially smart idea and will score you dates with models.
6. Saying "Hug it out, bitch" will generally make everything right again. Sweet!
Monday, April 2, 2007
This one is a great book by Kim Edwards. In 1964, a doctor gives away one of his twin children at birth when he realises the baby has Down's syndrome. Telling his wife the baby died in childbirth, the doctor's split-second decision is one he'll regret every day and one that will ruin his marriage and relationship with his family.
The book follows the split lives of the family who take care of the baby and the doctor's family who can't break down the wall that divides them following the loss of the baby.
Heart-breaking, riveting, sensitive and delicately written. It kept me enthralled enough that I didn't notice the hourly commute to work. Now that's saying something.